Silenced - Part 4/of many

(A continuation of my reflections on my undergraduate years - the time and place where I first experienced myself in a context where being a minority actually made a difference in the way I was treated and in the friendships (I thought) I had with people - and where the silencing of my own voice first began...click here for Part 3/of many)

A Mexican Curio - expressions of my first experience of actually feeling like and being treated like a minority...

"Racial Reconciliation” - That’s what they called it
The predominately white fellowship was having a conference on “Racial Reconciliation.”
It looked like show and tell to me

We all went to a church for the weekend – not just any church…an "inner-city” church.
I didn’t know which city was inner or which city was outer – it was all just city to me; it was my city, my home. I assumed there must have been an “outer-city” – that must have been where they were all from…although I never do recall a show and tell in their home – maybe they’re not too friendly in the outer-city.

The conference began with a “worship” service – I think we even sang Spanish songs that day…you know, racial reconciliation was the theme afterall!
Then there was “The Panel:” A cholo*, a veterano, an ex-chola, and a “poor” Mexican mother with five kids – apparently that’s what makes up the “inner-city.” They gave a short introduction of themselves and then it was fair game – question and answer time. Ai, ya, yai! I had never been more embarrassed to be associated with this group than I was that day.
I raised my objections and concerns to the campus minister of the fellowship; I said how I felt like the “inner-city Mexicans” were being put on display for the white students to point, poke and probe. He tried to justify it to me every which way – but all I know is that in the end I just felt like another Mexican curio to them.

*“Cholo” is the slang word referring to gang member, usually Mexican; “veterano” is an older cholo or ex-cholo who survives – does not get killed – he is respected as an authority figure.

“Racial Reconciliation” - a poem
Strategy –
It is all about their strategy…

How do we get them to come to our worship,
- our bible study,
--our god?
We need to sing different songs
We need to have food at events
We need to have more training
We need to have a black only,
- latino only,
- etc. only bible study
We need to reach them on their turf

You just need to be a friend - I say.
You don’t need none of that stuff
You’re being fake
--– people always know a fake
------Why don’t you try to just be real
And…Why is it that you have “white only” friends?

But they just kept on with their trying
Cause no one really wants different friends
---That’s just too much to ask –
They only want the numbers
---The right kind of numbers
------Minority numbers
Racial Reconciliation = Numbers